We have this love hate relationship.
You bring me what I want
but there is always more, more, more.
You proclaim on every page
that my options are unlimited.
How does one even begin to make sense of that?
It’s like a calendar filled with sunny days
An endless meadow of wildflowers
A bathtub-sized ice cream sundae
A promise for pleasure that goes on and on and on.
It starts out simple enough.
You tease, show a snippet, a line
Then hours have gone by
and I wonder where the time has gone.
It is never simple with you.
It is called the world wide web for a reason.
Each click leads to another and another.
That maze that guides you ever onward.
But is there actually something worth finding at the center?
Your long tendrils ensnare like octopus legs,
a child’s sticky fingers that won’t let go,
kudzu vines that grow and lengthen before your very eyes.
It is hard to escape if you don’t even know you are in a trap.
Yet how can I complain?
You have given me countless bits of information for my research.
Photography courses that challenge and inspire.
You’ve provided me with delicious recipes and craft ideas.
Somehow my small town doesn’t feel so small at all.
You’ve introduced me to many new friends,
both furry and not.
There is one hopping at my feet as I write this.
And for that I thank you.
What would I do without you?
When I need you most though, you are not always there.
Yesterday at work I couldn’t reach you.
The circle at the top of my screen
going round and round until I became hypnotized.
So in the end I did other things.
I knew you would eventually come back
and you did. You can be so fickle.
Maybe I just need some space.
A chance to see that I am not so dependent on you.
That a girl like me can still figure things out on her own.
I’m sure you’ve heard it all before. But maybe~
It’s not you. It’s me.
Feel free to think that if it makes you feel better.