What I know*
My hair curls wildly, almost uncontrollably, in the heat
When I stand up straight I feel so much taller, like I could take on anything
One less boy in the house means more quiet, more space. Nothing and
yet something to embrace.
When my hands are covered in dirt or paint I feel most alive.
I have friends who care for me, even though I often feel alone.
The love of an animal is pure and sweet. Even if it’s a heckuva lotta
work—it’s worth it.
That a photo shimmers in the viewfinder when it’s right.
I feel at home near the sea, with the waves crashing endlessly.
There are times when a piece of jewelry I am wearing expresses more
about me than the words I am using. It’s like a secret message in
The world may be obsessed with speed, but I want to take it slow.
Music lightens my mood.
My boys make me laugh. Sometimes a giggle, a chuckle or a snort your
milk/juice/seltzer out your nose.
Taking part in something communal is strengthening.
Baking calms me like nothing else can. Sift, measure, stir. Repeat.
Letter writing may be a dead art, but I passionately support sending a
handwritten note in the mail.
My husband always has the right words.
My book has a birthday but I don’t know it yet. (Thank you, Sugar)
But these thoughts are fleeting. When I read blogposts from some of my
favorite people online I feel like everyone has come to a revelation,
an epiphany that the world is getting us down and so we must:
Choose to be happy
Choose more joy
Choose to be broken or broken open
Yet everyday there are a thousand choices. Right, left. Up, down.
Stay, go. Hold, release. Too many, too much and I’m indecisive about
everything; until it seems I have no choice but to sink into the muck
that threatens to swallow me. At work I recently was told the phrase.
“Collapse now, avoid the rush.” I feel like I do. Every Friday. The
week and all my commitments and lack of sleep catches up with me and I
Then I listen to that voice in my head, telling me what I know to be
true. I hold on tight.
*with thanks to Andrea Scher for her original inspiration